i almost don’t even know where to start with this post. the beginning. the beginning. ok… you’re right.
brenna’s mom and i started talking about this session a year or so ago, while brenna was still a junior. i really took it to heart when she said she wanted to hire me because she is an extremely talented photographer. and she takes photos of brenna all the time too (duh!) so to be hired by her for this shoot… it meant a lot to me. well over the course of the time since those first conversations, amy and i have become extremely close friends. that friendship eventually began to include brenna as we chatted about the session over time.
roughly 2 months before the shoot, brenna’s oldest sister passed away at the very young age of 22. having lost my father when i was 17 and my oldest sister when i was 19, i could really empathize with the family. the event put our photo day into a state of flux, understandably. but then, things started falling into place… and the scope of the shoot started to evolve. i remember telling amy that this was not going to be just a photoshoot, but something closer to a spiritual journey. cheesy, right? but it was right on the mark.
those of you who know me well enough, know that i’m a fairly sensitive guy. just thinking about the day and what it meant as i headed down the freeway that morning, with the sunrise taking place, i was already crying. this was going to be a journey, indeed.
let’s get started… here’s brenna at our first stop (which you may recognize from my recent ‘trash the dress’ post), salvation mountain. excited? yes. i am too. (this first one is iPhone… my first ever iPhone photo post actually. just for fun.
totally one of those “between shots” shots right here. and one of the very few smiley photos from the day. but i love this. this is so brenna.
not too long after that shot i said to her: “you’re not being very smiley smiley for these. do you want to do the typical ‘shiny, happy people’ senior photo shoot today? or…” and she quickly said something like: “nope. i don’t want to do the normal senior thing. if i did, you wouldn’t be here shooting it.” understood. let’s get on with it then.
after salvation mountain, we followed the same path my TTD session took me on, to an abandoned warehouse. the true intensity of our journey would start to really kick in at this location.
since i’d been to this spot before, knowing how much graffiti was there, it occurred to me in the weeks before that it would be cool for brenna to leave her mark on the salton sea. we got some spray paint for her to let her decorate the walls a little. the first thing she did was leave her sister’s mark there.
after painting a little more, some hugs went around and we headed off to the actual seaside.
about a week before, brenna went and got the tattoo below on her wrist. it was the way her sister would autograph her truly brilliant drawings. (this family is full of some of the most talented people you’ll ever meet… each and every one of them.) i wanted to make sure she showed that off throughout the day as well.
not every shoot requires a “wardrobe conversation”. but for different shoots like this, i love to be involved in the process whenever and as much as possible. when brenna and i were going through things for the day and she showed me her sparkly dress and these furry boots, it screamed out salton sea to me.
next little special addition to the day, they brought this canvas photo of lyssa along for the shoot. this felt like as right a place as any to bring her into the photos.
time was already starting to noticeably slip away from us. so i chose to forego some areas near here to make sure we hit some other key spots before we lost the sunlight.
i don’t think i’ll ever forget the hilarity of the moment when brenna and i were talking about the shoot the day before. i think i very loosely threw out the idea of a headdress being in the mix. when she said yes, i knew the day would be that much more amazing. would you say ‘epic’? yes. you could. some people might look at you like you don’t realize that word is being overused these days… but when the headdress fits, wear it, right? right.
poor amy was just sitting in the car roadside, as we were shooting out here for at least 45 minutes. i just couldn’t stop taking these and letting the process just happen. i knew with almost each and every click how much i would love the photos. and that is because of brenna, not me… don’t mistake me on that. she was absolutely owning this. i really wish amy had been there to witness it and to be able to video some of this because it was … well… just keep looking and see if you agree…
the time actually came for removal of the headdress. sad. but all good things and all that, right? not to worry or cry too much… because brenna was still overflowing with that same magic for some more photos in the desert.
we went back to the car, piled in and the real race with the end of the sunlight began. my mind was trying to race through the other locations i wanted to shoot at. i settled on an area i loved from shooting with amanda during a previous trip. the pink trailer. so we headed that way, i completely and inadvertently doused myself with gasoline at the gas station and we arrived pretty much as the sun was giving its last bit of light… only to see that, indeed, the pink trailer was completely gone. poof. not to worry… another spot i knew was still available close by.
now completely dependent on artificial light sources, with the wind and cold picking up… the dramatics went up near 11 (spinal tap, anyone? come on…).
i did get to still do a few of my favorite things that day, though i missed out on any true silhouettes. hair in motion? check.
by the light of my phone and amy’s car’s headlights, brenna and i headed back to the car, both possibly a little exhausted. probably for similar and dissimilar reasons as well. the emotion of the day was always right there under the surface… for all of us, i believe. one of my best friends for over 20 years had passed away not too long before lyssa had. if you follow me on facebook, you’ve seen me working through all of this fairly openly (as i tend to do… possibly to a fault). as much as lyssa was there with all of us that day, i also felt and thought about my friend jason a lot.
as far as the photographs go, for me, this day was way more than just capturing an exact period in brenna’s lifetime. it was about putting her spirit on display. the high, the low. the happy, the sad. when friends say to me, “i just don’t want to burden you with ______ in my life because it’s kind of a downer,” or whatever… i always say to them that i want the real. i want them on every level of emotions, not just the benign ones. the emotional experience is what makes up our life, and our relationships and our relating with others. so i wanted to do my best to capture all the sides of brenna that i could. so this isn’t just brenna on one day of her life as a senior. but this is brenna, at a jumping off point in her life (in more than one way). and this is her spirit. her intense and unending love for her sister. this is brenna’s old and wise soul. this is her adventurous spirit. her contagious and uproarious laugh. this is brenna… before she went on to do amazing things and begin to truly create her legacy. this is the brenna i know now and the one that any person will be blessed to say they know at any point in their own life.
and one final image. this was the multiple image composite i actually did plan on creating (the dancing native american brenna was kind of a lark). and this is fitting for how i will always think of you, brenna. as a multi-talented artist that will leave her mark in so many places… and always with a burst of color.
by Tim
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